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THIS VERSE SAYS A LOT. IF U HAVENT DOWNLOADED OVERTIME YET, DON’T FRET. JUST LISTEN
http://usershare.net/rodceyt30ogj
A female “friend” of mine called me for advice about a dude she’s seeing. I gave her the advice and she thanked me for being a friend. I told her I was in the friend “category” but I’m not truly a friend. I mean we’re cool as hell, we’ve known each other for years, never flirted and have no business interests in each other…all that points to the safest zone of male/female interaction possible, but does that make us friends? I say nah.
There are some women that I may speak with to share a laugh, that I wouldn’t mind helping out if they needed me and some who I sincerely miss if I don’t see them in years…and these are people I have never crossed any line with. But again, are we friends…acquaintances…homies…old schoolmates? Or maybe just 2 people that never got close enough to mess up the so-called platonic friendship we’ve maintained. How did Plato get a whole relationship named after him anyway?
The age-old question, ‘can heterosexual men and women be friends?’ is boring, redundant and incapable of solving in 1 post.
There are too many variables to the equation when you include co-workers, exes that morphed into the friend zone and people you bumped uglies with a few times to satisfy that animalistic curiosity. Curiosity kills cats by the way (do with that pun whatever you like).
So here I am to lay wisdom upon you.
Some instances where men and women can truly be friends…and the contrary. Add more if you like.
THEY COULD POSSIBLY BE FRIENDS IF…
1.Guy is unattractive to her.
She likes tall, he’s an elf
She likes slim, he’s burly.
She likes Black, he’s…you get the idea.
2.Girl being unattractive isn’t really enough because he’d still sleep with her if she came at him correctly. But if he’s in a great relationship and she’s undesirable to him then he most likely would turn down any advances or flirts. And if she knew that then maybe there’s a possibility that “not-so-hot” chick and cool looking Guy can be amigos.
3.Girl is former or current lover of Guy’s brother or father. Dealing with his Best friend isn’t good enough…he may still test the waters.
4.Guy is former or current lover of…give me a second…(7 mins later). Yea I can’t see a female being genuinely close with anyone that is dealing with her homegirl, sister or bestest buddy and it being platonic. She may be cool with homie but they ain’t shoe shopping and chatting bout reality shows without someone wanting more, scratch this 1.
5.If Guy has other intentions for the friendship, I.E getting to know her better-looking friends.
6.If Girl has ulterior motives, I.E business advancement or wants his homeboy.
7.If Guy and Girl are both happily married and the 2 couples hang out together, share jokes, stories and advice but Guy and Girl do not hide their conversations or talk outside of the group of 4.
8.If Guy is some sort of client of Girl and they email each other only about business and they both have invested interest in going further in their careers…and she has a famous, rich boyfriend…or is looking for one…and Guy is not rich and she’s out of his league…and he’s not cute to her…in any way…then maybe they could be pals…maybe.
9. (On 2nd thought) If Girl is attractive to Guy and vice versa they can still be friends. BUT Guy has to really be an evolved individual and they can never be alone indoors for any reason…or drunk at a party where she needs a ride…or on her birthday where she may think “it’s my birthday and I can do what or who I want and it doesn’t matter” or umm, he has to do top-only hugs at all times, and never look at her cleavage. There’s more rules to 2 hot opposite gendered people being homies but I still think if they’re not related…watch out.
10.If they have slept together once…or twice just out of curiosity but neither mention it again and 4 years minimum have passed, there is a slight chance that maybe they have defeated the sexual attraction that exists and can move on to a real friendship if and only if they have both found people they really like and realize that the sex had to happen to get it out of the way…but most likely they aren’t friends.
So you found your soulmate and he/she has a few opposite gender buddies that are not ugly enough for you huh? Well pay attention.
THEY ARE PROBABLY NOT FRIENDS IF…
1.Guy has ever offered a massage.
2.Girl has ever said, “I need a massage.”
3.If they go out and Guy pays.
4.If they go out and Girl reaches but Guy still pays.
5.If there is no chance for $ to be made by them meeting for dinner, lunch, or brunch.
6.If they have children together but they are cordial and he/she sleeps there sometimes…”for the kids”
7.If Guy introduces her by her name and not “this is my friend, Girl”
8.If Guy has masturbated to thoughts of Girl.
9.If they are co-workers and…
yea that’s it, any good looking people at work must sleep together at some point, they ain’t friends, don’t fall for the banana in the tailpipe…especially if
9a.Girl tells him what her man doesn’t do.
9b.If Guy tells her what he can do.
9c.If they smile at the thought of each other.
9d.If they work closely together when they don’t have to.
9e.If they speak thru email and no one else has their email passwords…
10.And if your spouse has an ex-lover that is now their “pal” or “besty” and the relationship has broken new grounds since they stopped having horizontal dance sessions, don’t be so jealous and jump to conclusions that Guy is still flirting because he thinks he has “beatrights”…or Babymama rolls her eyes at you…or Guy sends “I miss u” text msgs at 12:30 am…or Girl writes private jokes on his Facebook wall…or Guy tags her in everything he posts…even with all of that, they might be friends. He may be over your woman…that chick may not care about your man.
There’s a high probability that they are 2 individuals on an enlightened path that have decided to divulge info, hang out with or seek the company of someone that isn’t their lover.
In summation, chances are if opportunities present themselves, if liquor enters systems, doors close, mouths shut, and phones lock, a man and woman may discover that the human they confide in is more than a private part in an emergency glass casing revealing the truest essence of “platonicism.”
or they’ll get it in and realize what’s real…
They ain’t friends.
As always, thanks for your comments! They make a difference…
TRUST ME, I WOULDNT LEAD U IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. I DONT LIKE RAP BUT I LIKE MUSIC AND REAL WORDS. POWERFUL STUFF HERE AND GOOD MIXING AND SCRATCHING IF U GET TIRED OF MY LONG RANTS….OVERTIME!! FREE DOWNLOAD! GO LAKERS
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A Tribute to Stevie Wonder.
CHECK OUT MY DUDE AWKWORD’S BLOG!! THEY GAVE ME SHINE ON THERE AND I’M VERY THANKFUL…WE ARTISTS DO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER…
Since I have so many new readers, I have to take you guys back to where these rambles began to take form and why I decided to put them together in a book. And it’s because of you taking time out to read em and spending an extra few moments to comment…so being that I will be going to BBQs soon and I have been back to church, this unofficial ramble from last year caught my attention. Enjoy!
As much as this hurts me inside I have come to grips with the fact that I do not look scary at all to strangers. I can have my earphones in bopping to my music with the meanest of faces on a dark New York street and some elderly Caucasian lady will tap me on the shoulder and ask me for directions without hesitation. I want to say “Don’t I look frightening? Why aren’t you concerned that I’ll rob you Miss?”
But I never get it out, and this happens quite often to me. I have been in the middle of conversations, or on the phone on the street and some person that I know I could easily take down and steal all their valuables just trusts in me to lead them on the right path. My hoodie and attitude mean nothing to people and that sucks.
I guess that’s why this retarded kid in the park the other day decided he would throw his football at me and it would be cool to initiate an impromptu game of catch with someone he’s never met in his life. This kid had to be about 8 yrs old, his mother was either watching from a distance or sent him over while she hid.
Anyway, here I was 4 minutes into it back and forth looking for an out when it dawned on me that catch is just that…catch. You throw and you catch, that’s it! There isn’t a score, no winner and no clock; the game of catch isn’t a game at all. It has no end and I had no way of finishing this torture other than running away from this excited youngster who might’ve been alone in a park. Then I started thinking maybe this was a prank and I was being filmed, or maybe this was a test from God to see how patient I am or there could be some beautiful, model Mom that wanted to know if I was a good stepfather candidate and this was how she felt out potential partners.
As I was running away I thought about how many times we as humans get caught in moments of discomfort. People go to extreme lengths to not be uncomfortable. However we all find ourselves in situations where we wish we could instantly disappear: A trip up the stairs in the party, not enough money on your debit card, surprise gas release, caught in a turning lane and you don’t want to turn. They are the tiny fractions of time that really aren’t a big deal but we just wish we could push fast forward.
We’re at a BBQ and I don’t remember her name, but she knows mine and we just had a 30-minute conversation about music, basketball and acquaintances we must both know but yet still no bell has rung. I’m texting her description to my boys…no help, handed her my phone when she offered her number to keep in touch but the drink in her hand caused her to say “you just write it in.” And now my friend walks up and I have to introduce her…
“Oh this is my peoples right here…we go waaaaay back, well we had a different name for you back then, what do you go by now?”
But her name was the same as it is now. And I still have a number in my phone under the name “Hey” because I didn’t take the time to remember even after all that but if she ever calls that’s what I’ll say, “hey” and pick up right where we left off.
Even that is not as bad as talking to a woman that has her cleavage exposed and she catches you looking at them. See the thing about cleavage is…well see cleavage is…is sort of like a separate entity or “entitty.” Two pushed together tatas that are halfway smiling at onlookers live and breathe on their own. Once a female with cup size decides to let the girls out then they have eyes and a mouth and they communicate with the public.
You can be saying one thing but your cleavage says the total opposite. If you bring cleavage to open school night to talk to your kid’s teachers then they are having a different conversation than the one you’re having. While you’re talking about your rugrats, the male teacher is asking if you’re a single mom, your breasts are saying “kind of but it’s complicated,” he’s asking them for details, next thing you know your kid is doing much better in school, is receiving awards and special attention and hasn’t learned a damn thing.
However your mammaries have changed the world, your double D’s have given birth to straight A’s! So with that said, you know what you’re doing Miss, don’t expect me to focus on your words if you wanted to have titty talk. I can’t focus that damn well. Just say what’s on your mind and their mind or just let me look at them and say hello.
I’m saying all this to say, cleavage is a beautiful thing except when it’s not. If you’re a married man and your wife’s homie’s low cut dress has you diverting your eyes to the floor every second then who’s to blame for this madness? Not you sir. The uncomfy moment of getting caught looking at your boy’s fiancée’s rack is your fault? Hell no! They are apparently out for some reason. And even if that reason has nothing to do with you it doesn’t matter.
If you’re with your woman and the guy at the next table can’t help staring during his order, do you give him a pound and say “all mine” or do you get upset and reprimand him? And what if instead of a random guy, it’s your friend, and he’s not doing a split-second glance, he’s gazing, smiling and commenting after a few drinks at the fight party? Do you want to have your own fight just because she decided to show 2 of the reasons that you chose her anyway?
They have an ego that needs to be fed so as you look at them and she looks at you it doesn’t mean you want to motorboat her or you’re wondering what her areolas look like or if her nipples are small or big; you’ve seen tits before. You’re just being courteous and giving them the look they were asking for. If anything she should say sorry instead of doing the ‘pull up the shirt adjustment’ as if she didn’t know her breasts were speaking to the entire room. That’s why I stopped going to church.
Thank you for your comment, it makes a difference…
Added to
queueAstro @ The Brooklyn Hip Hop Fest 09 – Pt 2306 viewstheastronomicalkid
HE’S ON MY ALBUM “MY SOUL TO KEEP” 13 YEARS OLD, HE WRITES HIS OWN RHYMES…
SHOUT TO J-RONIN FOR PUTTING THIS 2GETHER, CHECK OUT THIS JOINT I’M ON WIT SOME SERIOUS EMCEES I’VE NEVER ROCKED WITH BEFORE….
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